India is a developing country. Here most of the people follow conventions and customs. Moreover, there are so much diversity and rituals that marriage is always a contentious issue.
Most young adults want their parents to get involved in match-making. According to an estimate, more than 90% of people in India opt for an arranged marriage.
On the contrary, Love marriage starts with love. But love is a risky journey. And you never know whether it will transform into a marriage, breakup, live-in, or just continue to remain a mere attraction.
Love is unpredictable. You can’t plan it. Both couples have to come forward and forget all their differences if they wish to take their relationship to a new height.
When you transform love into a marriage, both the bride and groom’s family have to come together and mutually agree on the decision.
Love marriage looks good when you belong to a high-class elite, a wealthy and educated society, where social issues like RELIGION/ HEIGHT/ AGE/ WEIGHT/ CLASS CONDITIONS/ CASTE/ LANGUAGE/ CULTURAL DIFFERENCES don’t matter at all. These people are matured enough to handle these differences easily without creating any hullaballoo. Their parents always stand behind their children’s decisions and support them in whatever way they can.
You must now know why all celebrities are gifted and choose their own partners instead of going through the conventional match-making procedures. These marriages happen because these couples love each other and had spent a lot of time together before marriage. They understand each other’s likes/ dislikes and other compatibility factors.
However, even opting for love marriages these couples might get divorced or separated after 10–15+ years. But that’s a different case altogether. That’s their personal matter.
When Should I Opt for Love Marriage?
Love marriage is preferred when both of you share the same life goals and can wait for each other without either of you getting married. Both of you must have a lot of faith and trust in each other.
But again, you may never know when suddenly someone ditches you when they find a better option.
When you enter into a Love relationship, you never know how to take it forward. Love is just like a cloudy day, as you never know when it’ll start raining.
Similarly, you can’t pick and choose love or start loving someone based on their caste, language, religion, economic conditions, skin colours, creed, gothra, and others. It just happens.
Here is a problem: Even if you don’t believe in these things… but what will you do if your partner’s family believes in such things?
It’s never so easy to take your relationship to a newer height unless family members of both sides are supportive of each other.
If you are young, in your 20s, doing a good job… you can plunge into love. You can initiate a love relationship with a person you like. But don’t imagine too much. They can dump you anytime.
Love is all about uncertainties. Only very few fortunate people have been able to transform their love into reality. The rest of the people either forget that they have ever loved somebody and simply move on in their lives. A few unfortunate ones aimlessly wait to get back their lost love though they know it’s impossible.
Why Arranged Marriage?
Coming to an arranged marriage, it’s a sort of mutual decision with the support of family members from both sides.
Here two people are in search of each other’s partners to spend their lives together. There’s no element of love here, but guardian’s “Nod or YES” is there from both sides.
If you are in your 30s, you are introvert, not able to trust someone easily, or have been dumped in the past by someone who you love, you can opt for an arranged marriage.
People opt for an arranged marriage when it’s a compulsion. You know you can’t find your life partner, you are not approachable, And most importantly, if you are from a small city, then an arranged marriage is a good choice.
ARRANGE MARRIAGE – Compatibility Factors
- It takes time for adjustment
- You both don’t know each other.
- Both are strangers who decided to marry each other.
- Maybe there are some differences in mental wavelength (Compatibility Factor)
- Maybe your partner loved someone in the past who ditched them. They need some more time before accepting arranged marriages.
Love Marriages Hurt
- Your parents may not agree about your partner. They may not agree on it.
- If you two belong to two different religions, there’ll be a tremendous fight or LOVE JIHAD or LOVE CRUSADE-type political controversy. Unnecessarily, both of you may become the center of attraction and part of nefarious political drama, which you two never intended.
- Both of you may have to face POLICE/ SOCIETY—even if it’s your completely personal choice.
- Both of you may have an uncertain future if your partner is not educated or doesn’t earn well. You have to struggle to make your partner understand your concerns.
- If your parents or family don’t approve of this marriage, there’ll be allegations/ counter allegations from both sides.
- If you want to marry within 2 years, but your partner wants to marry after 5 years, then you can’t do anything. It unnecessarily delays your life plans.
- You may never know whether your partner has the right intention or not. What will you do if he spends a night with you and ditches you the very next day?
- Similarly, what will you do if you spend all your savings on her, but after two months, she said she loves someone else or friend-zoned you? What will you do if she simply says that her parents found a new guy for her marriage?
Thus when it comes to love, it’s all about UNCERTAINITIES. You must have a heart of gold and steel to love someone so deeply and silently swallow all pains when you don’t get your love back. It really stings. It hurts badly.
Love is complicated, but the more complicated is to transform it into a fairytalesque LOVE MARRIAGE. Only fortunate ones can do that.
For the rest of the people, an ARRANGED MARRIAGE is a good choice. Love can happen even after marriage. You need to have some patience, positive attitudes, and hope.